Why?
by UniqueInsanity
Summary: Why does Sara come back to Vegas? And what does she find when she returns, that could change her life forever? GSR. R&R. -xx
1. Chapter 1

**Why?**

**A/N: **I've been working on this for quite some time, and I really got into it.

There will be more chapters to come, and I hope you enjoy this.

_**xxx**_

Sara didn't know why she was back. She had sworn to herself that she wouldn't come back, convinced herself that really, she was happy on the cruise ship. She had made all others believe it were true also.

She had been on the ship for a month, four long weeks where she didn't have to think about the ghosts the haunted her in Vegas, the victims of the many crimes she had witnessed during her time as a CSI. She was at peace, surrounded by people who understood how her mind worked, her love in science and interest in knowing as much as was possible about absolutely everything.

She had engrossed herself in these people, learning as much as she could. What she realised, was that the subject she was learning most about, was herself.

She never really gave many thoughts to herself. Generally, she was too afraid as to what she might find if she dug deep enough. She was able to bury those demons that had haunted her, been her longest friend, and she could truly say she was at the happiest she had ever been.

But she was still missing something.

Grissom.

She would admit, since embarking on this adventure below the equator, she had been out of touch, but she apologised to him for that on that video she sent him. It was the first form of contact between them in four weeks. He never wrote or called first, it was always her.

She had been thinking a lot about them, the 'us' that seemed no more.

She thought about all the moments, from the first time they met, to when she asked him out for dinner, when she came to Vegas, when he rejected her on so many occasions, all the way through to their first kiss, the first time they made love. Everything that made them a couple, on so many levels.

She used to think they could survive anything, but was it just wishful thinking on her behalf?

Had society created a myth, that there would always be your 'knight in shining armour' who could whisk you away and would create your 'happily ever after'. Had she felt compelled to conform to that expectation from her society, and convinced herself that Grissom was this man, that they would get through everything and anything.

Right now, she wasn't too sure.

The trip had given her so much clarity, where as last year in Vegas, her biggest struggle was trying to breathe. She was oppressed by her demons, her worries and fears.

Now, she could see things clearly.

She played his words over and over in her head, "_If a relationship can't move forward, it withers."_

She had been waiting on him to make his decision, waiting very patiently, knowing that he would make it eventually, but then she realised something. Grissom not making a decision, was his decision. It was enough for her to know and to understand that he wasn't coming after her, that there was obviously something else holding him to Vegas, to keep him from coming to her when he had claimed on so many occasions that he loved her.

She had thought this was what she wanted, and that she was happy with his decision, or his not making a decision.

This time, she didn't come to Vegas because he asked her.

She came because he didn't.

No matter how hard she tried to think of the reason, she couldn't get the why out of her head.

Why didn't he come after her? Why didn't he contact her? Why didn't he ask her to come back?

Why?

She needed answers.

The rush of the busy Vegas streets never surprises her. It had taken over an hour to get from the airport to the crime lab, and she had completed the last ten minutes on foot.

Dressed in her favourite pair of comfy jeans, a white tank top, with a jacket over it, she entered the building which held so many memories for her.

Already, she noticed how her breathing became a little restricted, but she couldn't deny the tingling feeling deep inside of her; she was home.

Even if she didn't have Grissom here, the people who were more of a family to her than her own flesh and blood, and that could not be found anywhere.

She walked through the lab, her head down, not really wanting to run into anyone too quickly, she still felt like she needed to get a hold of her footing. It felt as if she were a little out of balance.

She knew the route to Grissom's office like the back of her hand, and she was sure that if she were blindfolded, after spinning around ten times, she would still find it. Like a magnetic force, pulling her in, drawing her attention to the room; to him.

She was a little surprised to find an empty office when she opened the door. It was usually where he situated himself; unless of course he was out on the field.

She took the opportunity to have a little look around, just submerging herself in something that was familiar.

Nothing had changed. In every available space there were forensic textbooks, general books, containers with insects and other specimen in for her to marvel at, like she had done on many occasions.

He hadn't earned the name 'Bugman' for nothing, she thought to herself.

She was only back just over an hour, and already she was restless and impatient. She made her way out of Grissom's office, and just met Greg coming out of the DNA lab. He stopped on front of her, eyes wide, in shock.

Ah, Greggo never failed to bring a smile to her lips.

He grinned and wrapped his arms tight around her in a bone crunching hug. "Sara Sidle! I can't believe you're back! Who do you think you are to leave Vegas without even saying goodbye to me, eh?"

"Hello to you too, Greg." She rasped, unable to breathe with the force he was holding her with.

Suddenly, as if she had burnt him, he let go, stepping back away from her. He held his hands up defensively. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't touch Grissom's woman." He said, looking a little embarrassed.

Sara narrowed her eyes ever so slightly, but couldn't help but laugh. "Some things just don't change." She said with a smile.

"What brings you back here? Are you back for long? Where did you go? Does Grissom know you're back?" He was like an excited school child.

"Woah there, Mr. One Hundred Questions. I don't know how long I'm back for, I was everywhere, and Grissom is what brings me back, is he around?" She asked, folding her arms across her chest.

Greg pouted a little, batting his eyelashes. "Couldn't you have just let me think for one moment that it was actually your undying love for me that brought you back to Vegas?" he said playfully, raising his eyebrows suggestively.

When he got no reply from Sara, just 'the Sidle look', he cleared his throat, blushing slightly before he continued. "Aah, Grissom's off this shift." He said, shifting awkwardly. "Try his house."

Sara sighed slightly, feeling a little lost. "I've already been by, there's nobody home." She thought hard, where could he be? Was there any rollercoaster's in town that he could be visiting?

With a quick glance at the clock, she knew that wouldn't be it. It was just approaching eight a.m. nowhere opened that early, not even in Vegas.

"Alright, I'll keep trying. It's great to see you again, Greg." Sara said as she turned and walked away from him.

"Hey, Sara!" Greg called, and Sara turned on her heel to face him. "Yes, Greg?"

"Don't disappear again without saying goodbye. And... You look good." He winked as he turned and walked away, leaving Sara with a smile on her face.

Trust Greg to make her feel better.

As she made her way back to the entrance, the sound of her name being called brought her out of her thoughts.

It was Judi, the secretary. A nice woman, but Sara didn't know much about her.

"Sara, glad to see you're back. I hope you had a nice time." She said brightly, a smile on her lips.

Sara smiled softly, making her way over to the counter which Judi was situated behind, leaning her elbows on the countertop. "Thanks, Judi, I had a great time."

"Does Mr. Grissom know you're back? He didn't seem to know when he was leaving here earlier." Judi said, trailing off.

Sara raised an eyebrow in suspense, waiting for her to continue, but she didn't. "Did he say where he was going to?"

Judi shifted a little uneasily, sensing how tense Sara seemed to be. Sara could tell something was wrong. Grissom never took nights off. Not even when they were a couple.

"Em.. He had me pull up the new address for a... Lady heather..." She said quietly, looking away from Sara.

In that moment, Sara was glad she looked away from her. She could feel her heart sink into the pit of her stomach, her insides clench up as if a nest of snakes were coiling tight around her insides. She felt sick, dizzy.

This was her why.

He didn't come after her, he didn't contact her, he didn't ask her to come home, because he didn't want her. He had heather now.

She should have known. That case they worked, she knew there was much more between them than he ever let on. He would never talk about her when she tried to bring her up, which only fuelled her curiosity.

Despite the rising lump in her throat, and the familiar sensation of tears burning in her eyes, Sara forced a small smile to her lips. "Can I get the address too, Judi? I need to speak to him."

Judi was a little hesitant, but she nodded handing Sara a piece of card which she had scrawled the same directions she had given to Grissom only hours earlier.

Without another word, Sara had turned and left, walking without thinking, without breathing. Once she got outside, she was hit with a rush of air. She had to kneel down, clutching her side as she tried to regain her breath.

This had always been her worst fear. That Grissom would leave her for someone else that she would risk her heart with him, and he would take it all away from her. Her sense of security, of safety, being loved. It was all gone.

After a few moments passed, and she no longer felt the intense urge to throw up, she pushed herself to her feet, and stumbled towards the taxi rank, swaying slightly. It never took much to get a taxi in Vegas. She slipped into the backseat, and handed the card to the driver without a word.

Minutes later, she was outside the Dominatrix's house, and the urge to cry was becoming harder and harder to fight. "Can you wait here, for just a few moments?" Sara asked, If the driver had spoken, she didn't hear anything as she climbed out of the taxi.

She leant against the car, watching the house closely. The sun was rising; it was going to be a scorcher of a day. She pulled out her cell phone, flipping it open as she hit number one. Speed dial was a great invention.

It seemed to ring continuously, but her head snapped up as she heard the creak of the front door, and Grissom appeared, his cell phone in hand, flipping it open. "Sara? Is everything okay?" She could hear worry in his voice. He knew she didn't call much. He obviously didn't see her.

But she saw him.

In his boxers, his shirt on, the top few buttons opened. "You tell me, Gil?" She croaked into the phone, snapping it shut.

Confused, Grissom looked at the phone, was it a connection problem? He knew the signal was bad, that was why he had to take the call outside.

He looked up, and just then, he froze, the phone slipping from his grasp, falling to the ground with a thud.

Sara nodded at him, her brown eyes locked with his blue. A single tear rolled down her cheek as she turned away from him, slipping back into the cab.

"Sara, wait!" Grissom called after her, rushing barefoot down the driveway, but it was too late.

Sara didn't look back at him, she simply muttered to the driver to take her to the airport, and she let the tears fall as he drove away, leaving Grissom standing in the middle of the road, watching the taxi until it disappeared.

_**xxx**_

**A/N:** To be continueeeed!

What's Grissom going to do now? Can he explain?

Like it, love it, hate it?

Please, let me know :D

Revieeews!

Chapter two coming soon xD

-xx


	2. Chapter 2

**Why? Chapter 2**

**A/N: **Wow, pleasantly suprised at how much of a hit this is, didn't expect that. Thanks a million to everyone who has reviewed.

I will admit, I suffered a severe amount of writers block, and this was my fourth attemot at writing this chapter, so hopefully y'all like it :D

I would like to say a special thanks to _gsr309_, who sent me a song titled 'Why' by Jason Aldean, it really helped me in writing this :D

Enjoy!

-xx

_**xxx**_

Grissom stood for just a moment after the taxi disappeared, his mouth hanging open. What on earth had he done?

He turned and raced up the driveway, not caring he had no socks or shoes on, none of that mattered. He mumbled an abrupt, admittedly harsh explanation to Heather, one which in time he would regret. This wasn't her fault.

Having dressed quickly, and leaving, he slid into the leather seat of his Denali, turned the key in the ignition and the engine roared to life.

He took off down the winding Vegas roads like a bat out of hell, his mind racing, swirling and swarming with so many different thoughts, he just wanted them all to stop.

He flipped open his cell, and quickly pressed the redial button on his last call, pressing the phone firmly against his ear.

_"Hello, you've reached Sara Sidle. I'm.." _

Voicemail.

With a frustrated sigh, he snapped his phone shut, before he could get to the end of it.

As he was forced to come to a stop in the busy Vegas traffic, he closed his eyes, groaning. He could feel the beginning of a migraine coming on.

Restlessly, he drummed his fingers impatiently on the steering wheel, before he thought of something. He picked up his cell again, quickly punching in some numbers, waiting impatiently for his call to be answered.

"Stokes."

"Nick, Gil. I need you to do something for me, and keep it between us."

"Sure, boss, what is it?"

"Track this number for me." He said quickly, before reciting the number confidently.

He could hear the clicking from Nick typing on the keyboard.

"Um, Grissom, you know who's number this is, right?"

"Yes, Nick, it's Sara. Just tell me where she is."

"Twenty-Eight, Oakley Drive. She's stationary."

Grissom sighed, recognising the address; Greg's apartment.

"Thanks, Nicky. Keep it between you and I." He muttered into the phone before closing it over, tossing it aside.

He should have guessed she may go there. He knew Greg and Sara had a close friendship, much like Brother and Sister. Much like Heather and Himself. He shook his head, now was not the time to be thinking of her.

His grip tightened on the steering wheel, as he slipped out of the traffic, contemplating for a moment turning the sirens on, but that would only result in a signal being sent to the police Department, which would in turn send any cop in a five mile radius after him; not what he wanted.

He just had to get to her, he had to explain.

It was nothing like she imagined, but of course he couldn't blame her. He knew it looked bad on his behalf, he was well aware of that. But looks can be decieving, they both knew that after years on the job.

He would never, ever cheat on Sara. He loved her so much. Even though she left him, even though she had been half way across the world for the last five months, she would always hold his heart, and nobody would ever come close to that.

After what seemed like an enernity, he finally pulled into the parking lot desiginated only for the residents, but that didn't bother him at the moment.

He tilted his head back against the leather head rest, pinching the bridge of his nose with his thumb and index finger as he tried to compose his thoughts.

He just had to explain.

_**xxx**_

Once Sara had seated herself back in the taxi, she mumbled the first address that came into her head, knowing Greg would probably be home now. If not, she would sit and wait.

Just for a moment, she wished she hadn't given up the lease on her apartment, so that she had somewhere she could call her own to go to, to allow herself to gather her thoughts on the situation.

Before she noticed it, she could feel the salty tears running over her chapped lips, that she had been biting on.

She furiously wiped them away; now was not the time to be crying, especially in the presence of a stranger.

Her eyes flickered to the taxi man, whom she noticed had adjusted his mirror so he could look back at her, cautiously throwing a few tentative glances in her direction. "You alright, Missus?" He asked carefully.

Sara offered a watery smile, shrugging her shoulders passively. "Yeah, I'm fine"

"I'm sure things will work out with you and the Mister." He offered kindly, showing his genuine heart.

Sara wasn't so optimistic, mumbling a thank you and directing her gaze out the window, concentrating on the cars which whirled past.

She had had a pain in her chest for quite some time now, and as she clutched her chest, trying to even out her breathing, she realised it wasn't going to go away in a hurry; this was heartbreak she thought to herself. She didn't think it would quite literally feel like her heart was breaking, but she had been proved wrong before.

She just couldn't get her head around the situation. Sure, she had left, but she gave him an explanation, maybe it wasn't the best way to do it, but she knew if she had stayed, she would only self-destruct, and she didn't want him to see it. It would be painful for both of them.

He could have come with her, though.

She had spoken to Catherine on a few occasions, and she understood from Catherine that he didn't think she wanted him to come after her, but it was what every girl wanted, wasn't it? When they ran they wanted to be ran after.

Minutes later, she climed out of the taxi, handing the driver a fifty dollar bill, a good fifteen dollar tip, not caring for change as she turned and made her way up the stairs to the second floor apartment.

28, Oakley Drive.

Shakily, she raised her hand, knocking firmly on the blue door which needed painting, she observed.

She let her hand drop to her side, running her hand through her already toussled hair, letting out a long breath as she turned her back to the door, rubbing her hands on the backs of her jeans impatiently.

Without warning, the door swung open, revealing a bleary eyed Greg, who instantly smiled as he recognised the woman before him. "Missed me that much, eh?" He asked, just as she turned to face him.

His smile faded and was replaced with furrowed brows of concern as he took in her pallid tear-stained cheeks, red-rimmed eyes. "Sara, what's wrong?" He asked, holding his door open so she could step inside.

Sara quickly slipped past him, not saying anything for fear of her voice breaking, and she was sure that would lead to her loosing control.

Greg shut his door, locking it before he lead her to the sofa, sitting her down. Concern laced his features, what had happened to her? He could only take one guess that Grissom was at the source of the pain, but he shouldn't jump to conclusions.

"C'mon, Sara, you can talk to me." he urged, gently rubbing her shoulders in what he hoped was a comforting manner.

Sara's tear filled eyes met Greg's and she slowly, relayed the story to an awe-struck Greg. he couldn't believe it, but Sara wouldn't make up such a thing.

"Sara, are you sure?" He asked softly, moving his hand from her shoulders to take her tightly clenched fist in his hand.

There had been a time in his life where holding her hand would have meant so much more than this, and probably turned him on more than you could imagine. He was sure, that he had loved her. Now, they were just as close as friends could be, they were more like family, brother and sister. All he wanted was for Sara to be happy.

Sara looked up to him, her eyes glittering with the unshed tears. "Greg, he was in his boxers, his shirt undone, with a beautiful woman like Heather, what else could there be?" She asked, silently hoping that he may give her another alternative.

"She isn't as beautiful as you." He mumbled honestly, but when he looked up to Sara, he knew he probably shouldn't have.

She couldn't believe all of this, it felt like a dream.

Greg opened his mouth to speak, but came up short. "I just don't think Grissom is the type of guy who would cheat."

Sara held up her hands, letting out an exasperated laugh as she shook her head. Tears burned her eyes, and she forcefully blinked them away. "Either did I, Greggo, either did I."

"Maybe you should talk to him, hear what he has to say." He suggested, hoping it would be somewhat helpful to her.

Just as she opened her mouth to speak, a knock on the door broke through the room. It was quickly followed by a series of more knocks, and Greg apologised as he lifted himself from the sofa, padding across the polished wooden floors to the doorway.

For the second time that evening, he opened his door to be greeted by a fmailiar face, just as distressed as the last. "Uh... Grissom, hey... What can I do for you?" He asked, his voice loud enough so Sara could hear.

Sara blanched, sighing heavily. It probably was best to talk, not as if she could get out of it now.

Grissom stepped forward, but not totally inside. "Greg, I know she's here, please, I just need to talk to her.." He was pleading, and it was such a shock to Greg, that he just blinked, at a loss for words for a moment.

After a second, he jumped slightly, nodding. "Er... Right..." He glanced over his shoulder at Sara, looking for her approval. With a moments hesitation, Sara nodded her permission, and Greg turned back to Grissom, stepping aside to allow Grissom to come in.

Grissom let out the breath he had been holding, feeling a small weight lift from his shoulders. That was half the battle. He stepped inside, and his eyes instantly found Sara. What had he done to her? he could see her pain as if it were a glowing aura around her.

Greg shifted awkwardly, looking from Grissom to Sara, the silence taking over. "Well, I have some errands that I can be running, so you just take your time here." He said, reaching for his key son the hook by the door before slipping out, closing the door behind him. Frankly, he was quite happy to be out of there.

Grissom interlocked his fingers, rubbing his thumbs together as he thought. He had come up with some idea, but it was all gone now. "Sara..." Was the best he could do, stepping closer to her, but not wanting her to feel like he was invading her personal space.

Sara forced herself to look at him, squaring her jaw. She may have cried on front of the taxi driver, she may have let a few tears slide with Greg, but over her dead body would she let Grissom see her cry, especially now. She said nothing as her eyes met his, she just couldn't make her voice work, even though she wanted to shout and scream, nothing happened.

"It wasn't what you think." He offered a little lamely.

"How was it then?" She asked, raising an eyebrow in sincere curiosity. She had been desperately searching for an answer herself, but she guessed that now, she would get her answer.

Grissom glanced away from her, to his entwinded fingers before he looked back up to her. "I went to Heather, because I missed you. I had gotten your video, and I just couldn't let everything between you and I go to waste. I needed to figure out what was best for you. You said you were happy, I didn't want to ruin that, but selfishly, I didn't want you to be happy without me."

"So, because you were missing me, you went to Heather?" She asked a little incrediously, narrowing her eyes slightly.

"It was early, and I just drove, Sara. I didn't realise I was there until she opened the door. It had been raining, really hard. After we talked, I showered... Alone... And then as I was getting dressed, you phoned. Signal is weak there, so I took the call outside. Please, Sara... I didn't have sex with her, I didn't do anything, but talk, and talk about you. She made me realise just how much I missed you, and how much I needed you in my life."

The entire time, Sara's eyes never left Grissom's, she listened to every word as if she was his student again, hanging on everything he had to say. She mulled his words over in her head, again and again. Was it plausable? "Gil...I..."

He stepped forward once more, taking her hands softly in his, and she was sure she could see tears glistening in his eyes also. "Sara, honey... I would never lie to you, and I would never, ever cheat on you... I love you..." He mumbled softly to her, pleading silently with her.

He reached into his inside pocket of his jacket, and withdrew a small envelope. He opened it with shaking hands, and withdrew a ticket, which he turned to show her what it was.

An airplane ticket, one which would take him to Baltra Island, one of the main islands in the Galapagos, where he would then get on a boat which would take him to her. The plane was set to leave at eight o'clock this evening.

"I love you too, Gil..." She whispered back to him, tears sliding down her cheeks now. She really had made a mess, hadn't she?

He smiled ever so slightly at her words, and gently used his thumbs to wqipe away her tears. "I love you so, so much Sara." He breathed, as he bent to capture her lips in a passionate kiss.

Sara wrapped her arms tight around his neck, pulling him close to her. They both poured every ounce of emotion into the kiss, trying to get their feelings across without speaking.

Grissom eventually pulled away, and brown eyes met his blue. He sat next to her on the sofa, pulling her to him, letting her rest her head on his chest.

"I'm so sorry." She mumbled against his chest, breathing in the familiar scent. Despite how she tried, she couldn't control her tears. She cried while he held her, soothingly stroking her back, and even allowing a tear or two to roll down his own.

It was such a relief, he had come so close to losing her.

"I missed you, honey..." He breathed into her hair, pressing a soft kiss to her head.

Sara slowly pulled herself up to look at him, wiping away her tears, with his help. "I missed you too." She mumbled softly, a small smile on her lips now.

After a few moments of just sitting there, looking into each others eyes, Grissom finally spoke. "Will you come home with me? Let me make all of this up to you?" He whispered softly to her, takig her hand softly in his.

Sara nodded, and stood, Grissom quickly following her.

"Lets go home." She said, a smile on her lips.

_**xxx**_

**A/N: **Ta-da!

i'll be honest, I'm not too sure where to go with this, but i have a few ideas, but I am also considering just leaving it at that.

If you want more, review and let me know ;)

-xx


	3. AN

**A/N:** Alright, guys, I know I promised faster updates, but for now they're going to be greatly delayed.

My Uncle, who had been suffering from cancer, recently was told that it had spread to his brain. Yesterday, he slipped into a coma, and today he passed away.

So, for now my main concern is my family, and I hope you all understand. I wil be updating again probably next week, or the week after.

I'm sorry guys.

Rest in Peace, Uncle Jimmy 3

-xx


End file.
